Relationships are at the top of the charts as the primary concern of a lifetime. Just about every day I talk with someone in a reading about a relationship they're in currently or a relationship they'd like to be in. This includes family relationships, business partnerships, friendships, and lovers.
The types of relationships we are in reveals something about ourselves. This includes choosing to be alone - how we relate to ourselves in solitude. Every relationship reflects what we are working on, what needs healing, and what is important to us. Relationships are the consummate self-made workshop for working on oneself.
I find in readings that people will often complain about their relationship, and dwell on what the other person was doing wrong in the relationship. A relationship serves as a mirror for our inner development. Whatever we witness our partner doing in the relationship also reflects a pattern in ourselves.
I've noticed some common relationship archetypes in my reading practice. I've listed a few here, including the tendencies of each, the shadow side (hidden aspects), and opportunities for self-integration or potentials for healing. The shadow side will not always be present in the relationship, but it's useful as a checkpoint for self-questioning and awareness. Please let me remind you that these are not absolutes, but merely guideposts for creating more balanced relationships.
The Workaholic or Perfectionist
Tendencies: Very active with little private time or down time, driven especially in work and career matters. Ambitious.
Shadow side: Empty activity, afraid of being alone, emotionally distant, identity linked heavily to level of success. Need for approval. Hidden angers, especially towards the father. Alcoholism and/or drug use in early family environment.
Potential for healing: Seek companionship, develop creative hobbies that are rewards in themselves, make time for rest and recreation, regular physical exercise releases anger. Receive touch through massage therapies. Examine family relationships.
The Solitary One
Tendencies: May prefer being single, independent nature, likes living alone, finds relationships perpetually unsatisfying and short-term.
Shadow side: Fears intimacy, closeness associated with deep hurt originating in early family dynamics, sibling rivalries, possibly sexual invasiveness by a sibling or relative; sexual fears. Alcoholism in family circle.
Potential for healing: Examine one's sexuality, safety and trust important in relationships - develop relationships gradually.
The Mother Teresa
Tendencies: Relates to people primarily through service occupations like social work, healing work, etc. Time is devoted to others.
Shadow side: Wounded in previous relationships, smothered or experienced loss of identity in relationships, especially parental relationships. Parent's needs came first. Martyrdom.
Potential for healing: Release oneself from taking care of others, give attention to one's own needs, set solid boundaries in relationships. Do it for yourself.
The Third Wheel
Tendencies: Attracts relationships where there is a third party. Infidelities.
Shadow side: Always feels left out or cast out, one or both parents emotionally unavailable in early family environment, had to compete with parents for basic love and attention. Parents were emotionally divided in their own relationship and couldn't express it, infidelities occurred, and the cycle continues on in their children's lives. Emotional reciprocity lacking in family relationships leads to relationships as adults feeling one-sided.
Potential for healing: Develop healthy family ties where there is a sense of belonging, community relationships important too. Emotional honesty in relationships crucial, practice expressing one's emotional needs to loved ones. Cultivate trust.
Tendencies: Enjoys parties and large group gatherings, gregarious, highly creative, festive nature, social skills, energetic, sexual, gifted, theatrical.
Shadow side: Afraid of closeness, alcohol and drug dependencies, desperate need to be loved, hidden hostilities towards the opposite sex, boredom, blocked creativity.
Potential for healing: Seek creative outlets, develop unconditional sources of love and nurturance through nature and animals, focus on gifts and talents with commitment and discipline. Harness sexual energy through sexual awareness and fulfillment of creativity.
As I said before, these are not absolutes. They are not labels to stick on our partners or ourselves. This list is for self-awareness. Do you see these qualities in yourself? If you see these qualities in your husband/wife/co-worker/fill-in-the blank, what are they reflecting back to you about your own nature? Do you see the shadow qualities as well as the positives? Are you working on how to acknowledge those shadow tendencies while balancing them? Those questions sometimes make us squirm - and that's a good sign. It means we're doing real work!
Psychic Readings with Michele Anderson
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A few good reference books...
I encourage everyone to develop a metaphysical library. Some books keep me spiritually in tune, always bringing me back to center after a mood or thought tried to carry me away. Others teach me the primal language of symbolism, helping me to stay in touch with the universal language of imagery in dreams, signs, and omens. Then, there are books that just serve as a good friend providing good cheer and inspiration for moments on the sofa cuddled up in the arms of my aunt's hand-knitted afghan.
Love is in the Earth: A Kaleidoscope of Crystals
I studied gem therapy in the 80s. I learned how to work with gems and crystals as a healing art. The more healings I did using these beautiful stones, the more my intuition opened up. I would receive word messages and images as I was doing the healing work. I wrote down lots of notes and shared these with my clients. My intuitive impressions were always timely and appropriate to the client's healing process. Studying this healing art was an initiation, a prerequisite for doing intuitive work. After several years of doing healing work, I started offering intuitive readings.
I underestimated the healing ability of these gemstones initially. Just being in the midst of their energy has a life changing affect. Did you know a rose quartz helps heal emotional wounds? Or that putting citrine quartz near your cash register can improve sales? Black tourmaline is a protective and grounding stone that deflects negativity. Who wouldn't benefit from a stone that serves as a protective shield? Hematite is great for the traveler to keep you grounded in your body while you're in flight. The benefits of gemstones are many. Melody's book is another one I keep as a main reference book. I hope you will too.
Nature-Speak: Signs, Omens & Messages in Nature
by Ted Andrews
Those of you who have read Andrew's classic book on the spiritual qualities of animals, Animal-Speak, will love this book too. He introduces you to the magical properties of nature in this book. Here's an example of some of the chapters listed in the Table of Contents: Rites of the Solstices and Equinoxes, Dictionary of Landscapes, The Ancient Mysticism of Trees, The Spirits of Flowers. Bonus material: a chart showing the seven major archetypes of Carl Jung and their correspondences in nature. One of the archetypes - The Feminine - corresponds to the following in nature: cave, holes in trees, tunnels, blossoming plants, archways, nests, ponds and lakes, moon, etc. Calling all nature lovers, this is a special book for your library.
Making The Gods Work For You: The Astrological Language of the Psyche
by Caroline W. Casey
Casey is a Visionary Activist Astrologer. She uses the symbols of astrology to teach others how to align with their soul's mission. She believes that through each individual's action and contribution, we can make planetary change possible. I love her writing style. It's descriptive and imaginative bringing the planetary energies to life; they aren't just planets out there, they are catalysts within. Casey is a progressive thinker. She has seven visionary activist principles that I appreciate and respect. Here are several examples from her book:
"Principle 2. Better to create prophecy than to live prediction. What makes us passive is toxic. What makes us active is tonic. This is the difference between predictions, which make us passive, and prophecy, which is active co-creation with the divine.
"Principle 3. The invisible world would like to help, but spiritual etiquette requires that we ask. Help is always available (operators are standing by.)"
To visit Caroline Casey's website, go to: www.spiritualintrigue.com.
Thought for the day
"I will give you a talisman ...
"Recall the face of the poorest and the weakest man whom you may have seen and ask yourself if the step you contemplate is going to be of any use to him."
-- Mahatma Gandhi (from www.worldprayers.org)
New Vision Radio - weekly podcasts
I want to invite you to listen to the New Vision Radio podcasts on intuition, synchronicity, and spirituality. A podcast is an audio broadcast available over the internet. I will be doing radio podcasts at least twice a month. This is like meeting in an open-air classroom for a talk on the intuition. Welcome allÉ
This week's podcast includes: how fear is contagious, the definition of the intuition as a language, and an awareness exercise called "Transitions."
To listen to the most recent podcast: click here
For further information about New Vision Radio podcasts: click here
Signs and Symbols
Tracking Signs - hunting the threads of similarity
There are similarities between tracking symbols and hunting. You have to sit, watch, and observe before you zero in on your target. Your bow and arrow is your ability to focus on your environment, and to notice details, details that are quietly meaningful. One set of deer tracks will lead you to another set. To recognize these signs you must cultivate inner stillness and an awareness of your surroundings. When you are aware, you can hear the leaves crackle and the sound of your own heartbeat. Your senses are alert, yet relaxed, awaiting... a sign.
Jack of Clubs with a hole in the center
One afternoon, my husband and I were strolling through the public library in Steamboat Springs, Colorado in the late 90s. This is a lovely library that, although small, has an excellent selection of book to choose from (and a beautiful view of the river right outside). On the floor between rows of books, I noticed a playing card. This was unusual! The card was the Jack of Clubs, with a hole in the center of it. I was going to be working with a new client that afternoon. Before I work with a new client, an event will often occur or I'll have a dream that gives me a clue about that person. The suit of clubs tells me he is business oriented, quick-minded, and young (he's still a Jack, not yet a King!). Most likely, he'll have darker hair. The hole in the center (belly) gives me a hint as to who he is emotionally: materially oriented, spiritually confused, digestive issues or concerned about eating, and a lack of confidence.
Tracking tip: Pay attention to what shows up in your path just before you meet with someone the first time, start a class, or attend a business meeting. You may be given a sign as to what to expect in this first meeting, and how to proceed. If a playing card shows up, or some other object of significance, don't throw it away, read it as a clue.
Martial Arts Schools Galore!
My husband and I were taking a weekend drive through Fort Collins, Colorado and the surrounding foothills in 1996. We noticed multiple karate/judo centers on our drive through Fort Collins, at least three of them within a few blocks of each other. We even asked each other, how could there be so many in this small community? During the same drive through Fort Collins, we saw two traffic accidents a couple miles apart. Knowing that events often come in threes, we joked that we'd probably see a third. We got outside of Fort Collins and drove among the scenic hills. Then, returning home, we passed back through Fort Collins. Waiting to turn at a stop sign, we were rear ended by a college student. The third accident was our own! This was a minor accident as far as accidents go, but we were still a little shaken. I didn't put it together until after the fact - seeing several martial arts schools, higher numbers of them than normal, along with the traffic accidents - was a warning to drive defensively.
Tracking tip: When something appears in numbers, in repetition, there is an emphasis, a Universal exclamation mark saying "take note!"
I got the news one day of a tragedy when a man I know told me that his boss, a very cool, dynamic, creative, easy-going man lost his father suddenly in a car accident during a trip. What struck me about this is that his boss's name matched the name of one of my clients, a client I hadn't spoken with in a while. Their names were spelled differently, but they sounded the same. I started to wonder if my client was okay because of the similarity of their names. Exactly one month later, I talked with this client and she told me that about that time she was in a serious accident that demolished her car. She was lucky to have survived.
Tracking tip: If you hear about a significant event (an accident, a marriage, a move) involving someone who has the same name of a person who is important in your life, check on them and see how they're doing. You may well discover that your friend too has just gotten married, and this was the first time you heard about it - through a synchronicity!
Develop your intuitive skills more deeply.
Intuition Training Program with Michele Anderson